The best way to influence your adolescent to avoid drinking is to have a strong, trusting relationship with him or her. It is especially important to let your child know that in your eyes, he or she does measure up and that you care for him or her very deeply. When children have a strong bond with a parent, they are more likely to feel good about themselves and less prone to cave in to peer pressure. Having a positive relationship with you may also influence your child to live up to your expectations because he or she wants to keep a close tie with you.

Talking with your child is the best way to help him or her avoid the risks of dangerous behavior. Many parents may feel uneasy bringing up the subject of alcohol, and your young teen may try to dodge the discussion. You should take the time to think about the issues you want to discuss before your talk, as well as how you will answer any questions your child may have. This discussion should be just the first part of an ongoing, comfortable, and open conversation.

Here are some tips on how to communicate effectively with your adolescent child about alcohol:

• Learn about your child's likes and dislikes and take an active role in what interests him or her.
• Volunteer in your child’s classroom or go along on special outings as a chaperone. This not only helps your child’s schoolteachers, but is also a good way to get to know his or her friends better.
• Try to set aside some time each day, without distractions, to discuss his or her activities that day and don't be afraid to show your changing child that what goes on in his or her life matters to you.
• Try to ask open-ended questions — avoid ones that can be answered by just a “yes” or “no”. Encourage your child to tell you how he or she thinks and feels about the issue you're discussing.
• Don't turn your conversation into a lecture. If you show respect for your child's viewpoint, he or she will be more likely to listen to and respect yours.
• Let your child know that you appreciate his or her efforts as well as accomplishments, and avoid harmful criticism.
• Understand that your child is growing up and, as you guide his or her behavior, make an effort to respect your child's need for independence and privacy.